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Leaving A Levels behind

It feels like an immense weight has been lifted since my A-Levels have finished. After spending so long wishing that there could be more hours in the day, I am now left with daunting hours of emptiness where I  can figure out for myself what I want to do with the day. I never thought that the time would come where I was able to read a book for pleasure; where every page is not massacred by scribbles and highlights. Needless to say, these feelings are completely normal given such a prolonged period of intense studying. Though I will admit, it feels slightly alien being able to choose to read any book I fancy, instead of one tailored to fit my A-Level course. If anyone is interested, the last two books I have read were Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn (author of the fabulous Gone Girl) and the Vegetarian by Han Kang. Both books are very different yet similar at the same time since they fall into the category of a psychological thriller. But before I go into a full book review of both novels I will keep it short and sweet: if you are looking for a murder mystery involving a psychologically damaged journalist then Sharp Objects is for you. Equally, the Vegetarian, as recommended by one of my best friends, is a "deep" read which will definitely make you reflect on your own life! In summation, I would 100% recommend both books so I would urge you to add them to your reading list.

Anyway, before I go off on a tangent,  I am also sad to be saying goodbye to my school days for good (fingers crossed baring in mind I am yet to find out my results). I would not say that I was the world's biggest fan of school, however, it inevitably nurtured a big part of my adolescence; I made many memories there which I will cherish for a lifetime.  I have also met some incredible people at school (both peers and teachers) that I hope I will stay in contact with longterm. Though of course there is a part of me that is also relieved to be moving on to the next chapter of my life... whatever that will entail. My aspiration is to study English Literature with Creative Writing at Warwick University but I guess we shall see. As for what I want to do in the future - that is a question I do not know how to answer. All I will say is that it would be my dream to be able to write my own memoir as I want to be able to share my journey publicly. I suppose it is quite a brave move, but I would love to be able to help others and show them they are not alone in their battle against mental health.

However, whilst I try and begin to embrace adulthood (probably naively) I am excited for better days ahead. I have already embarked on the holiday of a lifetime and am about to pack for another one. You can expect another blog post to follow on my time in Los Angeles! It was honestly such a big milestone for me to be able to go abroad, given that I have not been able to fly for four years because of this illness. Therefore, it was a massive deal for my family to be able to go away this year and I am really proud of myself that I have gotten this far. I resent the time my anorexia has stolen from not only me, but also my family, but I do truly feel that 2018 has been the year to regain that time and make some amazing memories (cringe, I know). I don't know if my family will see this, but I want to say thank you to them for being patient with me and allowing me to recover at my own pace. The holidays this year could not be more deserved for all of us. Though on a positive note, by not being "well" enough to travel, it has made me appreciate what I have so much more.

Lots of love,
Is xxx

 *P.S Sharp Objects is currently being made into a TV show starring Amy Adams - what better a reason to read it pre boxset-binge!

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